What now?
by WalkerLOATS
Summary: Sian's starting to give into her feelings, Sophie's feeling overwhelmed and needs to sort her head out, not in the best way given Sian's back...   Continuing in my series, where-as I'll be re-writing what's happened between the two of them in my own way


_Sian's- Point of view_

Things had been hard since I'd thrown Sophie out, I couldn't get her out of my head I'd sit in my lessons while the teachers spoke about things we needed to know for our GCSE's, even during break and lunch when my new mate Ashley was talking to me I'd zone out completely and think back to the kiss myself and Sophie shared, sometimes I relived it and did things differently, a few times I'd imagined myself pushed Sophie onto the bed and climbing above her, these daydreams never lasted long somebody would always hit me or break my concentration.

I couldn't carry on like this, everyday it became harder I just wanted to her to text me or something, I needed her too, I couldn't do this alone I wanted my best friend. The woman that had claimed my heart as her own, in a way no other ever had or ever would. I thought I loved Ryan but I couldn't off, not in the way I love Sophie every time I thought about her I couldn't help the bright smile on my face, she was the one.

I'd sent her my friendship bracelet back in the same day I'd sent her packing, but I regretted it I knew Sophie would know it was the last straw, I just wished I could take everything back that I could hold her and tell her how much I loved her and how I'd protect her from the world. But now, 3 days after we'd seen each other last I knew she'd have the envelope and it broke my heart, I stayed at home all day in bed crying my eyes out, I'd ruined everything before it had even started. I wondered what she was doing now.

_Sophie's- Point of view_

I walked in from school, to a silent house it was times like these that made me miss Sian all the more, she'd normally be with me even if Ryan was here too, but we'd all be laughing and joking and that was all gone now, my heart hurt a little more each time I was alone. I picked up the letters and flicked through them, noticing one for me I recoignised Sian's handwritting and where, placing down the other letters I tore the one address to me open and saw our friendship bracelet, my heart broke even more, quickly walking to the bin I pulled my own off and went to toss them both away but something stopped me, I couldn't get rid of the last thing that I had of Sians so I slipped both bracelets onto my wrist and checked the fridge, out of milk. With I sigh I walked back out of the house.

Ryan saw Sophie walking outside of her house, towards the shop her hood pulled up over her face, he grinned and ran towards her, sporting a new haircut I'd not noticed it before as I'd been worried about Sian and my friendship. "Sophie!" He called, I turned and glanced at him quickly before replying "I don't know how you've got the nerve to talk to me." I said as I walked across the street, glancing left to right making sure no cars were coming "Is it true you went to see Sian?" I rolled my eyes beneath my hood, of course she'd told him all about us. "Where have you heard that?" I mumbled as I turned back to glance at him "Doesn't matter. Is it?" I pushed open the shop door as I spoke hoping to escape this comversation "So, what if it is?"

I mentally groaned when he followed me inside the small corner shop "Is she seeing someone else? She is, isn't she?" I pulled down my hood and looked at him with a deathly glare, my hand moving between us as if I was going to slap him "It is none of your business anymore." I said in a sharp tone, he moved further into my face "Yeah, thanks to you." He looked ready to deck me, he wouldn't would he? "No, Ryan, thanks to you. It's your own fault. You know, you should not have tried it on with me, and then tried to lie about it, yeah? You don't deserve her, and I'm glad she's finished with you." My voice was getting louder as I spoke and I pushed his chest, getting some distance between us, I couldn't believe this scumbag hurt my Sian. _My Sian? Did I really just think that? Get a grip Sophie!_

I was brought back from my thoughts by Ryan's sharp words "You know what? I am an' all. You're both like a couple of kids, checking everything with each other. You're both pathetic." I crossed my arms over my chest in a protective manner I wasn't sure how much more my heart could take. "Just leave me alone, Ryan." I answered rather pathetically, I was thankful when Sunita came out from the back of the shop and in a sharp tone respond to Ryan "I think you should leave. Now." Once he was gone, she started rubbing soothing circles on my back and looked at me "You alright?" She asked softly "Yeah." I mumbled, scratching my ear hoping she'd not ask me what was going on. "Boys, eh? They're more trouble than they're worth." She responded getting a small smile out of me.

I picked up the milk and paid, carefully avoiding each one of Sunita's questions I really didn't want to answer any of them at the moment, I said my thank you's for her getting rid of Ryan and quickly left, almost running back to the safety of my house, once inside the house I ran up to my bedroom and just laid there on my bed, playing with Sian's bracelet, wishing she was here. I didn't even care if she didn't like me romantically, I just needed her in my life this was to painful not seeing or talking to her at all. I needed my best mate back if it was the last thing I did. I fell asleep, clenching both mine and Sian's friendship braclets close to my chest.

_Sian's- Point of view_

I glanced at my phone for the millionth time today I was sure, before I stuffed it back under my pillow if Mum caught me with it on a day I've called in sick all hell would break lose but I needed to think things through, I had to stop avoiding it now and stop to think. Was I really in-love with Sophie? I laid there for what I thought was a few seconds, thinking about her beautiful brown hair and the way it softly waved in the gentle breeze, to her beautiful bright blue eyes that make the sea's look plain and boring, the way they sparkled when she looked at me and how her lips would curve into the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. I rolled onto my side and stared infront of me, looking straight at my own reflection I was shocked to see the massive grin on my face, once I'd got back a sense of reality I realised I was struggling to breath, my chest was tight and my heart was pounding, it was at this moment I knew. I Sian Powers loved Sophie Webster.

I spent the rest of the day flicking through old photo's of me and Sophie, trying to look for signs of when this first started but after a few photo's I didn't care, with each photo was a fantastic memory, some brought tears to my eyes while other caused my cheeks to hurt from all the smiling, we always had been so comfortable around one another not like best mates, not even like sisters there had always been something more between us, nothing like it was now but that was besides the point. I decided I had to see her, I'd get a train down there as soon as I could tell her just how I felt no matter what. Even if she pushed me away, I had to tell her get these feelings in the open. I fell asleep that night on my bed, surrounded and partly covered in photo's of myself and Sophie, one softly gripped in my hand of her kissing my cheek on New Years Eve as part of a dare, both of us grinning our heads of and laughing I'd never seen either of us happier.

~_Sian's dream~_

_I smiled as I slowly walked towards the beautiful woman that was now laying on my bed, crawling up above her as we both laughed slightly, I stopped when our faces were merely inches apart and looked deep into those beautiful eyes that could change somebody's mind with just a glance, I felt her hand snaking around my waist and mine in turn wrapping around her neck softly as we slowly moved closer if that was even possible, I watched as her eyes flicked from my eyes to my lips and gave her a small nod, silently telling her it was okay, everything was okay. That was when I saw her amazing smile, one reserved just for me, only ever me I was brought from my thoughts by her voice, it was so soft, yet held so much power, love, truth and complete happiness "I love you, Sian." I felt the shivers run down my spine, those few words were all I needed to hear and I was hers forever more, I smiled softly at her before whispering "I love you too, Soph." It was true I did love her, and I'd not fight it anymore I didn't care what anybody else said I was happy and so was Sophie. I watched her slowly leaning closer our lips just softly brushing against one another, as they began to meet in what would of been a kiss as I felt sparks running through my body..._

_~End dream~_

"Sian! Hurry up love! You are going to be late" Mum's voice echoed around my once happy head, I opened my eyes and shot up into a seating position, sending the photo's flying I looked about my room in the hopes of seeing something that told me that dream had been real, I wished for it so badly to be real. I sighed and gathered up the photo's placing them back in the large box that lived under my bed, I made a mental note to put them into the nice album I bought soon anyway, before I heard Mum shout again "Sian I mean it!" I rolled my eyes "I'm coming Mom!" I called back as I grabbed my dressing gown and pulled it on while jogging downstairs.

I grabbed a piece of toast off of her plate, munching on it while I ran back upstairs despite her protests of me stealing her food, I quickly pulled on my school uniform and gathered up all the books I needed for the day, pausing as I picked up my English folder, I saw one photo left on the floor, it had been the one I'd fallen asleep holding, I picked it up with a fond smile and held it close to my chest, my eyes slipping closed. I heard a faint whisper in my head in the form of Sophie's voice "Please come back to me." My eyes shot open and I looked about my bedroom "Soph?...Sophie?" I called hopeful, before sighing and running a hand through my hair, I made up my mind I was going back to see her, this week. "Sian, hurry up or you will have to call a cab!" I heard my mum shout, quickly slipping the photo in my notebook I called back to her "I'm coming now!" I said as I ran downstairs, Mom taking me to school as our usual routine did.

_Sophie's- Point of view_

I woke up slowly, blinking a few times to let myself adjust to the sunlight peering through the open curtains, I pulled back the covers and sat, stretching my arms high above my head before frowning as something fell off of me, I looked down and slowly everything came back to me as I saw Sian's friendship braclet along side my own I felt my heart shatter all over again, this was becoming a daily occurance, wake up and see something that reminded me of Sian and it felt like the world was ending. I couldn't carry on like this, I was going to crack someday and it felt like someday soon.

I shook my head and pushed my emotions back down as I climbed out of bed and pulled on my white robe, covered in multi coloured stars before walking to my door I paused and glanced back at my bed, before picking up both bracelets, slipping mine onto my wrist before pressing Sian's to my lips and whispering "Please come back to me." I hoped that by some miracle you'd hear me and come back but I knew in my heart miracles for me didn't happen, which was why I angrily stuffed the bracelet in my pocket and made my way downstairs and straight into the kitchen, flicking the kettle on I pulled out Sian's bracelet again and started fiddling with it.

I was brought from my gazing stare on Sian's bracelet by me dad speaking "Better get dressed, you're gonna be late for school." I sighed and placed the bracelet back in my pocket "You had your breakfast?" Oh I might as well pull a sicky, I feel numb as it is "I don't feel very well. I've been throwing up." I said in a strained voice, how could one person effect me so much? Well this must really be love. "Look, don't try it on with me, Sophie. I'm not in the mood." Me dad snapped, I turned to look at him "I'm not." I said in a stronger voice than before "I think it's just time of the month." I said, my voice dropping once again.

"Alright." Dad said with a sigh, something was clearly on his mind I'd have to find out what it was later on today but not now, right now I needed to put the pieces back together of my heart, alone. "I'll try a couple of aspirin." I spoke as I reached for the cupboard and started looking through them for something to help with this numbing pain. "I didn't mean to shout at you; I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't try and skive off, I'm just having a moody Monday. Just that used to your sister. Look, you go back to bed. I'll bring your brew up. Ey, come here." The whole time he was talking I could feel him moving closer, I turned to look and then hug him. It took all of my strength not to burst into tears right then and there, why do hugs always have that strength?

After the hug I did what he'd asked and gone up to bed, curling up in my covers watching the steam come off of my hot cup of tea, I didn't really want it right now I only wanted one thing and it was the one thing I couldn't have; Sian. The pain was getting worse, it was to the point where everytime I closed my eyes I saw her smiling or laughing, or even us together eating chips and I fell in-love with everything about her, all over again. Why did things have to be this hard? I eventually sighed and felt slightly better, I'd found that thinking about memories myself and Sian had together was better than trying to forget about her, it dimmed the pain slightly, even if it was only slightly.

I reached my hand out of the cover to grab my cuppa, only to feel it was stone cold with a sigh I climbed out of bed and grabbed the cup, before wondering downstairs to make a fresh one, I looked about the house before opening the fridge and seeing there was no milk "Just my luck." I mumbled as I placed my cup in the sink and jogged back upstairs, maybe some fresh air would do me good I said to myself over and over again while I got changed and eventually walked out of the house, crossing my arms over my chest in the hopes of holding my heart together, I heard me dads voice ring out across the street "Oh, not well enough to go to school, but alright to wander the streets?" The sharp bitterness got to me straight away, bringing back all the pain I felt over Sian I knew I was about to cry and I needed me dad to hug me when I did so I walked towards him rather quickly, tears already starting "Dad, we're out of milk!" I said, my voice cracking under the pressure of all this emotion. "Ey, ey, ey, I'm sorry." He said, obviously knowing something was seriously up "Dad." Was all I managed to say as I hugged him tight and cried hard, my sobs shaking both our bodies as he rubbed my back, I wanted him to take away all the pain and protect me from the world, the only man who ever could by the looks of it, given I loved a woman. "Ey, what's wrong? Ey, come on, come on, come on. Let's get you home. Ey, what's matter?" I heard him mumble as he closed up and led me home.

As soon as he got me inside he sat me on the sofa and sat beside me, all I'd done is sob into his chest I wasn't sure how long passed before I did eventually stop crying enough to string a sentance together, I was a mess my t-shirt was wet from where I'd wiped my tears from and my sleeve dirty from wiping my nose. "Why don't you go, have a shower and get changed aye?" Me dad suggested, I nodded my head and walked upstairs doing what he said I grabbed clean clothes before going into the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror as I stripped down, trying to work out what the physical problem was with me I hoped it would be the key to my emotional ones but like everything else these days, it didn't help. I climbed into the shower and let the hot spray was over my aching muscles and despite the numbness it felt good.

20 minutes later and I walked out of the bathroom fully dressed which was when I heard dad shout softly up the stairs " Soph? I'm going back across the garage now, if you're feeling better." He waited around 7 seconds before calling again "Soph!" I rolled my eyes before I slowly made my way downstairs, looking upset and broken my hand playing with my neck "Yeah, OK." I mumbled and sat on the stairs "You been sick again?" Parents they never understood anything to do with feelings, periods or just plain moods. "No." I replied simply. "Well, when you said this morning, you were..." He asked as he eyed me suspeciously, I cracked under his gaze I always did "Them aspirin must've done the trick." I glanced up, oh big mistake now he knows something's up and you aren't telling him "Dad, I'm not even ill! It just, you know, when you feel like you've proper fallen for someone, and you can't stop thinking about them, and they're just not interested." I said as I could feel the tears building up again, I tried my damned best to fight them escaping "What do you mean? Ey, you're not talking about Ben, are you? Oh, come on. Come and sit down, sweetheart. Eh, this isn't like you." I heard the word 'Ben' and I snapped, did anybody even know me around here any more? Sian did and she's gone now, why did everybody think it was Ben or another guy, couldn't they grasp the fact that I might be gay. _Are you gay? As in proper gay or just gay for Sian?_ I burst into tears and curled in on myself again, Dad tried comforting me by cuddling close but it wasn't the arms I wanted wrapped around me, I wanted Sian and that's it.

Again I'd settled back down and laid on the sofa, watching a bit of telly and slowly calmed back down, I was zoned out watching _Horrid Henry_ when dad spoke and rested on the back of the sofa "Will you be alright, love?" He asked, love why did that word keep popping up? I sucked in a long breath of air and turned to look at him "Yeah. Look, I'm sorry about before. I'm just in a bit of a weird mood, that's all." I tried to explain wanting to get out of the weird questions and such "I won't be long. Tyron just needs his car doing and I'm only halfway through finishing his brakes." I nodded my head and looked back to the telly, looks like it worked he bought it. "I'll be fine." I insisted as I watched him leave the house and me alone.

I watched tv for a few hours before I heard the door go, with a sigh I curled into a tighter ball as I heard Rosie's happy voice ring out, sometimes I really hated how happy she always was "Hiya!" I rolled on the sofa slightly to look at her "Y'alright?" I asked with yet another sigh as she moved to sit on the edge of the sofa "What's got into you?" I turned my head back to look at the Tv as I mumbled "Nothing. I wish mum was still here." Rosie giggled slightly before looked at the Tv and then back at me "Yeah, well, she's not, is she? She's with Auntie Gina. Sisters stick together in a crisis." she said as she rubbed my back in a comforting manner, Rosie might not of been the best big sister in the world but when you needed her she wasn't far away "Do they?" I half mumbled and half whispered, I wasn't sure if Rosie would actually care, she was more intrested in her money and her job these days. "You're not still having a boy crisis, are you? Oh my actual God! Did you, like, totally come onto a guy and he, like, totally told you where to go?" Yeah I was right Rosie really wasn't helping, not at all she was making me feel worse about me and Sian again "Something like that." I said as I ran a hand through my hair, and looked at her "Eurgh." Hold on does Rosie care? I looked at her and asked "What?" To which she was replied "Well, I'm just trying to imagine what that feels like. I have the perfect solution. Right, come on. Come with me. Come on." Oh great what now, I groaned as she pulled me up from the sofa and followed me upstairs, taking me into her room, I kept glancing back to see Rosie was following me. She sat me on the bed and went through her draws and wardrobe, pulling out a few things and checking they would fit me before she shoved me into the bathroom "I'll be downstairs when you are dressed." She said with a giggle and a wink.

I eventually got changed and slowly walked downstairs being careful not to fall wearing these heals, god how did Rosie wear these when she goes clubbing? I couldn't stand on them without wobbling, how the hell did she dance wearing them? Maybe it did take some skill being Rosie, well that was a maybe. I saw her turn around and put down her magazine before she spoke "Wow! See, wear an outfit of mine and you can always win a guy back." I looked down at myself and smoothed down my skirt before speaking "I actually quite like it." I said giving her a grin as she stood in front of me and looked me up and down again "I know." I couldn't help what was going on in my head as it slipped out And it doesn't look as tarty on me." Rosie looked shocked that I'd said that but the smile didn't leave her face "Sophie, I am not tarty. I am Jordan level glamorous." I rolled my eyes slightly before moving to sit on the sofa and crossing my legs and grasped a hold of my knee "I don't know if I can do this." Rosie moved to sit next to me and placed her hand on my thigh, in a supportive manner "Sophie, you look amazing. And believe me, guys, they have a one track mind. Wear the right skirt and they all give in eventually."

I nodded my head as Rosie kept on about how I'd get this guy back I liked, I just wanted to scream I liked Sian, yes Sian a woman! Everybody was keeping on about a lad, if only they knew they'd never look at me the same again, I eventually managed to get out of the house as I pulled my phone out and dialed Sian's number, I sighed as it rung out before I thought what to say, settling on "Hiya, Sian. It's me. Um, please will you ring me? I just want to check you're ok and everything. OK, see you later. Bye." My voice was soft and carrying all the love for her I felt, I pulled my phone away from my ear as Ryan whistled "Oh, drop dead!" I said as I hung up the phone, I crossed my arms over my chest and looked across the street "Have you heard about me and Sian?" Sian, why was he saying her name, did that mean she was talking to him? So she was talking to the cheating, lying boy that reduced her to tears but not to her best friend? _Oh cheers Sian _" What about you and Sian, Ryan?" I asked, did I really want the answer to that question? "Getting back together." Yeah and there's the heart break again, oh wait he was still talking "Well, we might be. Phoned me over the weekend, gagging to see me." I had to get away from this conversation and fast. "I'm not interested." I said before walking quickly to the shop for a sugar rush.

_Sian's- Point of view_

My day at school had been a long hard one, I really couldn't stop thinking about Sophie I hadn't even made it to lunch time when I'd run out of school, running the whole way home only to quickly get changed and grab the money for a train ticket. I needed to see her, even if it meant her slapping me across the face, I had to show her that I was feeling the same as her. Or at least how she used to feel, I was terrified she'd hate me after all that had happened but still the hope of her still wanting me out weighed all the fear. I shook my head quickly and slapped my cheeks sharply _'Snap out of it Sian! For god sake.' _I screamed inside my head as I focused on what I was going to do, I didn't bother grabbing anything else other than my iPod before I made my way quickly to the train station, thankfully I'd gotten my timing perfect and as I arrived the train to Weatherfield pulled up, with weak knee's and sweaty palms I climbed aboard.

The whole journey over was horrible, since getting on the train I'd recieved an answer phone message from the girl I was going to make mine, if I could. Sure the phone call had been nice and pleasent so typical of my Soph _Wait, __my __Soph? When did she become __mine__? _And then I'd heard the wolf whistle, panic had set in; Had this all been one massive mistake? I kept reasuring myself that it was just some guy passing by and nothing was going on, the more I thought on it the more I lost track of time. I felt the train judder to a halt and glanced around in a trace like state I realised I was here, quickly jumping to my feet I rushed of the train and made my way to the bus stop. _Oh good, more waiting around! _It felt like an age by the time the bus had arrived, climbing on without a second hesitation I watched as the bus took the familar route to my old home.

My knuckles grazed the wood of the Websters front door, before I tucked my hand back into my pocket expecting Sophie to answer the door not a hot, flustered and sweaty Rosie. _Had she been having sex? _As if reading my mind Rosie explained and after a swift discusion I'd had my worst fears realised. Sophie had moved on _You hurt her, what the hell do you expect? This is all your fault, Sian Bloody Powers!_ I felt the dull ache grew in my chest as I made my way the bench once knows as ours.

Nothing. I mean NOTHING. Can make this better can it? Sophie has clearly moved on from what ever it was the got into her when she kissed me. Now here I am sitting, freezing my ass off. Praying for a miracle because after one simple kiss, I'm hers. Forever. She alone holds my heart, but can it be made right again. God I hope so!


End file.
